


Through All the Stars

by shewritesall



Series: Romanogers Short Stories [34]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, F/M, Infertility, Miscarriage, SWAT, SWAT Team, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-23 08:47:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21317392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewritesall/pseuds/shewritesall
Summary: The NYPD special detective team is the best in the country.  From team leader Steve Rogers to arrogant Tony Stark to strategist Clint Barton, not much gets past the NYPD's best team.  It's no rumor that part of the reason the team works so well is that husband and wife, Steve and Natasha, make sure everyone's on their A-game all the time.  Nothing is too hard for them; except, maybe, getting pregnant.With Steve and Natasha happily married and settled well into their careers, they decide to try for a baby.  The only thing is, it doesn't seem to be working no matter how hard they try and Natasha's starting to worry it's her own fault.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Series: Romanogers Short Stories [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1197295
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Through All the Stars

"Nat, have you seen my--" Steve trailed off as he caught sight of Natasha in the kitchen wearing nothing but the button-up shirt he'd been searching for. He smiled as she turned around and wrapped his arms around her waist before dipping his head down to kiss her. She kissed him back, setting aside her coffee in favour of reaching one hand up to his cheek and resting the other on his chest.

"Did you need something?" she murmured, her lips brushing his as she spoke. Steve tugged lightly on her shirt and she smirked, bringing her mug back up to her lips for another sip of coffee.

"Just looking for my favourite shirt," he replied. He kissed her cheek then slid over to the coffee maker to pour himself some coffee as well. Leaning back against the counter, he watched Natasha finish her coffee, rinse out her mug, then move to leave the kitchen. Before she could disappear, he snagged her around the waist and pulled her back to him for another kiss, deepening it when she didn't pull away immediately.

"We have work in an hour," she mumbled, melting against him as he kissed his way down her neck to her collar. He hit a particularly sensitive spot and her back arched, pressing her closer yet and making him grin against her neck. He sucked lightly along her collar, nipping at the soft skin occasionally and making her yelp in surprise. He quickly smoothed over the spot with his tongue in apology for biting her a little too hard then made his way back up to her lips.

"I can't go to work without my favourite shirt," Steve told her. Natasha just hummed, letting him finger the few buttons she'd actually bothered with. He slowly unbuttoned her shirt and pushed it off her shoulders. She grinned when his eyes darkened; she'd never grow old of his reaction when he saw her naked.

"It's not fair if I'm the only one undressed," she said, quirking an eyebrow. Steve didn't need any more motivation to hoist her up into his arms and carry her into the living room before quickly shedding his sweatpants and pulling his shirt the rest of the way off of her.

* * *

As soon as Natasha and Steve stepped into the precinct, they were met with the whistles of their friends and Tony's ever so charming remarks about their tardiness. Natasha just side-stepped him and made her way over to Clint's desk while Steve told Tony to can it and went for his own. It wasn't often they were late and even now it was only five minutes, but it never evaded their friends' attention. Natasha had gotten good at ignoring it, but Steve still turned red at some of Tony's more implicit remarks.

"What's Fury got us doing today?" Natasha asked, jumping up so she could sit comfortably on Clint's desk despite his frown.

"Oh, let me just pull out the bulleted schedule," Clint replied sarcastically, opening a desk drawer and pulling out a takeout menu. Natasha looked on unimpressed as he made up something about a kidnapping around ten, a robbery planned at noon, then paperwork until three when they would finally be sent off to stop some huge drug bust.

"You're full of shit, Barton," Natasha said once he'd finished. Clint's eyes widened and he pointed at her, calling out to Steve.

"Bad word! Your wife said a bad language word!" he announced. Steve rolled his eyes from where he was seated at his desk and continued working. Natasha slipped off Clint's desk and moved over to her own desk by Steve's. He slid half of his muffin across the table as she threw her legs up on her desk and called across the room to Sam who looked rather guilty as he snooped around on the internet. On cue, he jumped at her voice and Natasha grinned to herself as he muttered about how interrupting people's work was rude.

"You're not working, Wilson," Tony said, receiving a glare in response. "Who looks that guilty while working? You're looking at porn."

"Am not!" Sam immediately objected though he closed the web page as soon as Tony tried to peer over his shoulder. "I'm just looking into something Maria may have told me to stay out of, so your silence would be greatly appreciated."

"Definitely porn," Tony mumbled to Clint. Sam rolled his eyes and Natasha snorted, taking another bite of her muffin. She hadn't even finished chewing when her stomach churned and she suddenly felt sick to her stomach.

"I'll be right back," she managed to mutter before racing down the hall to the bathroom.

She'd barely locked the door behind her when she vomited up her entire breakfast into the toilet. Pulling her hair out of her face, Natasha braced herself as she continued to wrench up whatever little food she had inside her then dry heaved for a moment. Once she was sure she was finished, she pulled herself to her feet and flushed the toilet. Her hands shook as she washed her face and hands, legs wobbling as she made her way back to her desk. She was lucky enough that Clint, Tony, and Sam were all invested in whatever they were talking about and didn't notice her shaking as she walked by, but Steve watched with concern visible on his face as she sat down across from him.

"Are you alright, Tasha?" he asked. She brushed her hair out of her face and nodded before immediately regretting the decision. The room blurred for a moment, but she held down another bout of vomit by focusing hard on her desk. When her world was no longer spinning and she felt it was safe to look up, she found Steve kneeling beside her in concern.

"I'm okay," she assured Steve, running a hand through his hair. "Just got a little dizzy for a moment."

"You looked like you were about to throw up," Steve told her. Natasha had the common sense not to tell him she almost had or try nodding again. Instead, she just gave him a tight-lipped smile and promised she was alright.

"I'll let you know if I feel sick," she promised. She doubted she would, she didn't want Steve to worry, but she wasn't going to get anywhere if he kept hovering by her, so she promised him and he nodded. Although hesitant, he moved back to his own desk but continued to keep a close eye on her.

The rest of their day went by smoothly. Natasha managed to finish her muffin without throwing the rest of it up and got caught up on all her paperwork. Steve and Tony got a lead on their case, leaving the precinct to follow it up and leaving Natasha in Clint and Sam's oh-so-worried hands. She didn't even have to ask them to know Steve had mentioned she'd looked off earlier and now it was a pain to get rid of them.

"I swear, Clint, it was just a bit of nausea, I'm fine," she said, struggling to resist the urge to smack him away. Sam had at least had enough decency to look worried from his own desk. Clint, on the other hand, had set up residence at Steve's and refused to leave her be.

"Nausea?" Clint asked. Natasha nodded before assuring him she felt perfectly fine now, she had probably just had something bad for breakfast. "Hey, aren't you and Rogers trying for a baby?"

"What the hell does that have to do with this?" Natasha asked, exasperated. If he didn't stop bugging her soon, she was going to lock him in the records room and hide the key in his desk.

"Well, when Laura got pregnant, she got nauseous in the morning then felt fine," Clint said. As if he'd flipped a switch, Natasha stopped short. He looked at her expectantly, but Natasha was too stunned to form a coherent thought. Could she actually be pregnant? After almost two years of trying, could it have finally happened?

"Cover my cases," she said shortly. She didn't give Clint much time to object before she was gathering her things and rushing from the precinct. If Clint was wrong, she was so going to kill him. However, she had the strangest feeling he wasn't (this time).

* * *

The wait to see an OB/GYN was agonizing. Sure, Natasha understood it was a last-minute appointment and she was lucky to get in at all (thank goodness her friend was the doctor), but couldn't they hurry it up a bit? They had flipped the closed sign on the clinic and escorted the last woman back, letting Natasha know it would only be a few minutes when Steve's caller ID lit up her phone. With nothing better to do, Natasha answered immediately.

"Where are you? Are you okay?" he asked, not giving her time to respond before continuing on, "Clint said you left in a rush and no one's heard from you. Are you alright, Nat? I can come get you, I swear I won't be upset."

"I'm okay, Steve," she said, smiling a little at the thought he was so worried. He'd been on a case all day, he had to have known she wouldn't have texted unless it was an emergency. Given she hadn't thought it an emergency, she hadn't texted. Nevertheless, Steve worried a lot so she should have expected it.

"Where are you? Please, please be okay."

"I swear to you, I'm okay," Natasha repeated. Bruce poked his head into the waiting room and smiled at her, beckoning her to come back. "I just forgot about an appointment with a friend; I'll be home in less than two hours."

"Okay, okay," Steve said, calming himself down. She smiled as Bruce as he led her back to a room then waited patiently for her to hang up.

"I gotta go, babe," she told Steve, "I love you. See you soon."

"Okay. Love you too." She hung up and turned to Bruce, apologising for keeping him waiting.

"No worries, Natasha," he assured her, taking a seat on the rolling chair in front of her. "I get it you didn't tell Steve you were coming." Natasha shook her head.

"Clint gave me the idea I might be pregnant and I kind of panicked and left in a hurry," she explained sheepishly. Bruce just smiled and laid her back on the table. She pulled her shirt up as she said, "You know how Steve gets. I guess I shouldn't have rushed off though."

"It's understandable to panic when the thought first hits you," Bruce replied. They chatted quietly as Bruce rubbed the ultrasound gel on her stomach then set up the machine. Natasha had always been good friends with the doctor, but she never thought she'd actually be visiting him as a patient until that afternoon.

"Do you think it's possible I could actually be pregnant?" she asked softly, looking up from her stomach to Bruce. He smiled down at her then stepped aside to show her the monitor.

"I think it's very possible, Natasha," he replied. He pointed to a blur on the screen and gave her a warm smile. "Congratulations, Nat, you're pregnant."

* * *

Steve couldn't help but worry even after his phone call with Natasha. He knew she was alright, she'd said as much and she would never tell him she was alright if something was horribly wrong (a morbid part of him worried she might if she was being held hostage and forced to say she was fine, but he pushed that thought away). The way Clint had sounded made it seem like it wasn't that big of a deal, but Sam had said she'd practically raced out of the precinct and no one had seen her since.

When the front door finally opened and he heard Natasha step inside, he couldn't help but race from the kitchen to see her. She laughed when he wrapped her up in his arms and peppered her face in kisses, telling her how worried he'd been.

"I was fine, Steve, really," she said, pulling away from him. "I just went to see Bruce is all."

"Bruce? Bruce Banner?" Steve asked, suddenly confused. They'd gone to high school together and stayed friends, but he hadn't talked to Bruce in quite a few months. "Isn't he an OB/GYN now?"

"Yep," Natasha replied. Steve was even more confused now. Why would Natasha have been in such a hurry to meet with him? And hadn't she said something about an appointment? 

"Why'd you go to see him?" Steve asked. He wasn't jealous, just confused. Totally and completely confused, especially when her response was simply handing him a piece of photo paper and smiling shyly. He looked down at the little black and white picture, trying to make out what he was looking at when it hit him. Natasha had gone to see an OB/GYN. She had come back with a picture.

"You okay?" she asked teasingly. Snapped out of his trance, Steve lifted her back up into his arms and spun around in an excited circle. Natasha laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck as he set her down then pulled her into a passionate kiss. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep from smiling against her lips and eventually pulled away.

"Is this what I think it is?" he asked quietly. Natasha nodded, folding her arms up between them and smiling happily at him.

"I'm pregnant," she said. Steve let out an excited whoop before scooping Natasha up again and kissing her all over. He couldn't believe she was pregnant. After trying for so many months and coming back with only negative results, she was finally pregnant.

"I love you so much," he whispered, pulling her close and looking down at the little photo he still didn't entirely understand. With a quiet laugh, Natasha adjusted the photo in his hand and pointed to the little blur in the center, telling him everything Bruce had told her about their little baby.

* * *

Natasha managed to convince Steve not to tell anyone about her pregnancy until she was at least three months along. Thanks to the million questions she'd asked Bruce after he'd confirmed she was pregnant, they knew she was now almost ten weeks along, so it wouldn't be too much longer before they would be telling their friends. Nevertheless, it seemed like they were bound to find out sooner; especially if the way Steve acted on all their cases was anything to go by. She'd already talked to Fury about staying out of the field which had raised suspicion among her coworkers, but Steve was still hovering around her all day whenever he could.

When she'd returned the next day to work with Steve's arm around her waist and a chai tea instead of coffee, Clint had given her smug smirk but hadn't said anything. At least, he didn't say anything until Steve was gone. He'd managed to be covert in the way he gently hugged her from behind, kissed her cheek, and whispered congratulations over her shoulder. Natasha had just grinned in response and that had been the end of that (she had received congratulations from Laura later on in the day, but she was too giddy about talking to her about pregnancy to be upset with Clint for telling).

As the three-month mark came and past, Steve went with Natasha to her appointment and couldn't wipe the stupid smile off his face as Bruce showed them their baby. By the time Bruce was sending them away with more black and white photos to give out to friends, Natasha was pretty sure the smile on Steve's face was permanent.

"You still can't say anything until the party in three days," she reminded him. Steve nodded as he opened the car door for her then walked around to his side of the car.

"That doesn't mean I can't be excited until then," he replied. Natasha just laughed and listened to him mutter about what their baby would be like.

* * *

The day of the party, Natasha stayed home from the precinct because she'd simply felt too nauseous to move. Steve had voiced plenty of worries, only agreeing to leave when Laura Barton knocked on the door and promised to take good care of Natasha. Only fifteen minutes after Steve had left, Natasha felt well enough to move around so she and Laura started baking the treats for the reveal party. They would be taking the cupcakes and rice crispies to the precinct around five o'clock, but they still needed to make them. Clint had promised to help Steve decorate the break room, blocking out all windows and declaring he had a migraine. It was a reasonable enough excuse, so Natasha wasn't surprised when Steve said no one had batted an eye at it.

"Are you ready?" Laura asked, handing Natasha the boxes of cupcakes before hopping in the driver's seat of her car. Steve would have panicked if Natasha had arrived on her motorcycle and he'd taken their only car, but Natasha didn't mind riding with Laura.

"Nervous, but yeah," Natasha said, grinning over at Laura.

"It's normal to be nervous," Laura assured her. Having had three babies already, Natasha trusted Laura's judgment pretty well. She'd been there to help Laura on days when Clint was gone on a long stake-out and fallen in love with the Barton kids no matter how difficult Laura claimed they were.

"I kind of hope it's a boy," Natasha said quietly. It was the first time she'd admitted it out loud despite how often Steve asked her. "Steve wants a girl, but I think a little boy would be fun."

"It won't matter once they're born," Laura told her, "Clint wanted a girl, but then we got Cooper and he didn't even bat an eye. Lila came and he was ecstatic. He'll never admit it, but I'm fairly certain he wanted Nathaniel to be a girl too. He adores them all anyway."

"Maybe after this, we'll have another baby and have one of each," Natasha mused. Laura just grinned.

When they arrived at the precinct, it didn't go unnoticed. Sam and Tony jumped to their feet, demanding to know why Natasha had called out sick and what she was dying from. Instead of answering, she just rolled her eyes and told them to follow her. She led them to the break room and opened the door to see Clint and Steve just finishing up the streamers. Laura set the boxes of cupcakes on the table and made her way over to Clint while Natasha moved to stand beside Steve.

"What's going on?" Tony asked, snagging a cupcake off the table and biting into it. He looked around the room and frowned in confusion. Baby blue and pink streamers hung everywhere and an adorable sign that read "Congrats!" was hanging near the back with binkies and baby bottles on it.

"We're pregnant," Natasha said, grinning. She had barely blinked before Sam and Tony were hugging her tightly and jumping around beside her. Steve laughed as Natasha tried to shove them off her, eventually relenting and letting them hug her as much as they wanted.

"Are you crying, Stark?" Clint laughed. Tony glared at him as he wiped his face.

"I'm just so happy for them," he defended. Steve laughed and pulled Tony into a short hug. "You do realise I'm spoiling this kid so much, right? Uncle Tony is gonna be their favourite."

"No way," Sam denied. They argued for a moment about who was going to be the better uncle before Laura successfully redirected their attention to the treats at the table Clint was busy eating. More of their coworkers wandered in and congratulated Natasha, milling around long enough to steal food then leave to prevent intruding too much on the celebration. By the time they could go home, the food was all gone and Sam and Tony were competing to see who could clean up faster in hopes of proving who would be the better uncle.

* * *

If Natasha had been paying attention, she would have realised something was wrong sooner. That's what she told herself as she called Laura in a panic from the bathroom at the precinct. She could feel it in her gut; her baby wasn't alright and she hadn't known earlier. What if something was really wrong? What if she killed it? Maybe she wasn't supposed to have chamomile tea in the mornings.

"I'm downstairs, Nat," Laura said soothingly over the phone. "It'll be okay. Don't panic."

"Okay," Natasha sniffled. She hung up, splashed water on her face, then made a beeline for the elevator. She was lucky not to run into any of her friends on the way and sent Steve a text that she was going out to lunch with Laura.

It didn't take long for Natasha to spot Laura's car idling outside the precinct and she ducked inside quickly. Laura quickly merged back into the traffic and shot off towards Bruce's office, asking Natasha all sorts of questions about what she was feeling, what she'd been eating, and anything else she could think of. By the time they pulled outside the clinic, Natasha wasn't in tears anymore, but she was still worried sick.

Laura waited in the lobby while Natasha was called back to be examined by Bruce. He made sure to talk calmly around her as he spread the gel on her stomach and began an ultrasound. He paused the second the image loaded on the screen. Natasha didn't need to be a doctor to know something was off with the image. This picture was much lighter and she immediately hated it.

"What happened?" she asked quietly, looking up at Bruce with tears already in her eyes.

"I can't be absolutely certain without more testing, but it looks like your uterus tore and the fetus has found its way outside of the uterus," Bruce said softly. He moved the wand around a bit more, but the image didn't change and Natasha was ready to start sobbing. "I'm so sorry, Natasha, but the baby will not survive. As is, this poses a huge health risk to you and it best to remove the fetus as soon as possible."

"But it was alright three weeks ago," Natasha said. She'd definitely done something to hurt her baby. It was all her fault this had happened.

"It's my fault, I should have noticed how thin your uterine wall was and I'm sorry," Bruce murmured, turning off the machine and moving to wipe the gel off her stomach. He sat on a chair beside her and helped her sit up, letting the room fall silent for a moment. "We have a couple of options. First, you'll probably want to call Steve here. After that, we need to schedule a time to have the fetus removed from your body. If it stays much longer, it will become toxic to you and you're life will be in much more danger than it already is."

"I can't do this, Bruce," Natasha told him. Bruce grabbed her hand gently as she broke down into tears. She buried her face in her hand and Bruce muttered something about going to get Laura. He disappeared, leaving Natasha alone for a moment while he went and briefly explained what had happened to Laura. She called Steve, demanding he head to the clinic immediately before following Bruce back to see Natasha.

"Oh, Nat," she sighed, hurrying to Natasha's side and hugging her friend. Natasha melted into her arms and hugged her tightly, crying into her shoulder as she mentally went over all the things she could have done wrong to put her baby through this.

When Steve arrived, Laura told Bruce who went to go get him. As soon as Steve stepped into the room, Laura and Bruce left to give them privacy.

"Natasha, this isn't your fault," he said, sinking onto the bed beside her. Natasha shook her head and pulled away from him when he tried to hug her.

"It is, Steve," she said, looking up at him and wiping her nose. "The baby was perfectly healthy three weeks ago, I must have done something wrong."

"You did nothing wrong, babe," Steve murmured, pulling her to his chest. He buried his face in her hair, letting her cry on his chest and letting a few tears of his own go. Right now, he needed to be there for Natasha. He'd break down later, probably in the shower when she wouldn't know, but for now, he wouldn't break down.

After fifteen minutes, Bruce returned to find Natasha still huddled in Steve's arms and her face hidden. She was crying, but Bruce figured that was because she was too tired to continue rather than because her grief had ended.

"I can take you back now to remove the fetus," he told her gently. He hated how brash he sounded right now. His friend had just lost her first baby and he had to remove it from her body. "We can be done within the hour bar there are no complications. Steve, you're welcome to come back with us."

Natasha just nodded and moved so Bruce could help prepare her for the procedure. He led both of them back to an operating room and called in more doctors to assist him. A sheet was put up to block Natasha's view and Steve turned away, looking down at Natasha. Her eyes were closed, but he knew she wasn't asleep.

Just like Bruce said, they were done an hour later and Bruce set Natasha up in a hospital room to recover. She would stay the night, but it was likely she could leave in the morning as long as she stayed on bed rest for the next four days until her checkup. The hospital room was silent and neither of them slept despite how exhausted Natasha was. Steve left at some point to get them food and when he came back with puffy, red eyes as well as takeout, Natasha didn't say anything.

As soon as they finally did get home, Steve took Natasha to their room and she buried herself under the covers. He tried a couple of times to get her attention, but she refused to move, so he left the room to call Clint and ask what he could do to help. It turned into more of a support call for himself as he cried over the phone, but Clint didn't judge him for it or mention it once he was done. Instead, he promised to make sure Fury called them both off for the rest of the week and that he, Tony, and Sam would take all their cases until they returned.

"Steve?"

Steve quickly hung up on Clint at the sound of Natasha's voice and rushed back to their bedroom to see if she was okay. When he saw her head poking out above the covers, he sighed in relief and wandered over to her.

"What's up, Nat?" he asked softly. She tugged back the blankets and patted the bed beside her.

"Lay with me," she told him. Steve didn't argue. He climbed under the covers and gently pulled her to him, being careful of the incision on her stomach as he wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay to be upset too, you know?"

"I know," Steve said. As if that had been all it took to trigger his tears, his eyes started to well up. Natasha squeezed his hand and he buried his face in her hair. "It'll be okay, Nat," he said, his voice cracking as he spoke. Natasha stretched up and kissed his jaw softly.

"I know, but right now, I think you just need to let it out," she said. Steve didn't need any more cues for him to break down. Natasha just hugged him tightly and kissed his shoulder, jaw, and wherever else she could reach. They may have lost a baby, but at least she hadn't died and if that was all Steve could get, then he couldn't be happier.


End file.
